Holding space, the flame in the dark. We’re approaching the shortest day of the year and I feel exhausted, spent, ready to be filled with light. Holding space for silence, for the uncomfortable things that surface in it. Holding space for a breath with you as we meet across distance and time. Close our eyes, inhale, exhale, pause, open eyes. Here we are.
Dear Reader,
The turning of the new year on the Gregorian calendar is generally when I pause to take stock of where my life is and where I would like to head. Of course I could do this at any time of the year—like the spring equinox or my birthday—but this occasion is the one I've settled into. As a holiday, New Year's Eve/Day is not one that I generally celebrate—I'm in bed at my normal time of 9:30pm. But during the weeks of December 7th-ish to January 7th-ish I do a lot of writing, reflecting, and listing to understand where my goals and priorities are. Here are some exercises that I do and that may help you through a time of self-reflection, during the new year or whenever.
Word of the Year
I was introduced to the practice of choosing a word for the year back at the very beginning of 2015 when I discovered Susannah Conway's Unravel Your Year workbook. (Completing this workbook was what also re-introduced me to tarot after a long hiatus.) I've done this workbook every year since and it's pretty fascinating to see how my goals and aspirations have shifted over the years; the things I've made slow progress on and finally accomplished; and the things that ended up not being so important.
I like having a word for the year, although honestly I sometimes go weeks or months forgetting about it. I'd like to think that it subconsciously guides me even when it's not in the forefront of my mind. Choosing the word is aspirational; it’s also often a reaction to the ways that I can see my self getting off balance or getting out of touch with what’s important to me. This year, my word is presence and I’ll be spending some time thinking about how my life would be different if I allowed the energy of presence to be there throughout my days.
Life Inventory
I began doing what I call a life inventory a few years ago. It's simply a list of all of the things in my life that are important to me. The general headings I have chosen are: Life Purpose, Responsibilities, Community, Self-Care, Spiritual Practice, and Creativity. Under each heading, I briefly list a specific item, like "knitting," "meditation," or "saving money." All in all, about 30-50 items make it on the list, which then becomes an at-a-glance for tool for remembering what's important to me. The lists are also cross-referenced, so that, for instance, the entire category fo Creativity is also listed under Self-Care. Last year I wrote a new version of this list, folded it up, and glued it into the back of a notebook so that I could be reminded of it frequently. I plan to re-do this list, if not at the new year, then some time before my birthday in the spring.
Values List
Recently I did a similar exercise that's been around for a number of years: choosing my core values. I feel that it combines the specificity of the life inventory with power of language inherent in choosing a word for the year. I learned about it through the artist Lisa Congdon, who recently collaborated with Andreea Niculescu to create a card deck based on this exercise. Basically, you take a long list of values and narrow it down to the 10 that mean the most to you personally, and then rank them in order of importance. It's a lot harder than it looks! (Just search for "values list" or "core values" and you'll find a lot of authors and trainers who have put together lists of values for you to start from.)
The process of narrowing down the list to the 10 most important values to me took some thought. I originally thought I just had to have 11, until I walked away from the exercise a for a few hours and came back later and saw that one of the values, accountability, could be considered part of another, integrity. The ten values I eventually settled upon were:
Love, growth, integrity, calmness, empathy, fairness, creativity, intuition, joy, and service.
On one hand, every word on this list strongly resonates with me. On the other hand, I know that I am not aligned with everything there. It’s time for me to consider the energetic cost of not making decisions from a place of my core values. I’m glad to have this tool to engage with on an annual, or more frequent, basis.
I hope these practices can be of service to you as we enter the new year, or further into the future.
Our Card: The Two of Wands
The card I pulled for this newsletter is the Two of Wands from the Tarot del Fuego, which is probably one of the most apt cards in the tarot for this moment! The Two of Wands is about looking forward, gathering our resources, and most important, dreaming about the future. Perhaps this is a moment to shift our understanding of what’s possible for ourselves, to envision what could be there beyond the probable future we see in the immediate future.
What I’m Reading Right Now
I probably have as many books out from the library now as I’ve done since graduate school. In 2021, I burned through books like I haven’t done since then, although I read about 50 this year rather than the 150 or so I would have while getting my PhD. I’ll probably make a post about what I’ve read this year at some point, but for now I’ll just say that I am reading Devon Price’s Laziness Does Not Exist. If you are a person who is overwhelmed, overworked, and burnt out, this book presents an EMINENTLY RATIONAL argument for why pushing ourselves to work harder and consume more information is not only harmful but completely counterproductive. I also enjoyed taking a peek at Price’s Medium to see his writing on other topics.
Until next time, dear Reader, thank you for spending time with me and I wish you the best holidays and New Year.
Emily